Trying to pick-up and move on

Its been months since I posted here in my blog, although I'd never did stopped in what I do. In fact I did a lot of progress in my works. I was constant dissapointed and sick lately, not really bad but, I was listless and not so much in the mood to sit in front of the computer. I am still not in the mood actually. I have a diepje , so as we says in dutch. Its all about something personal like losing a friend literally. Having a lot to think about just like problems which are not my own but, from the people I dear most. Thinking and pondering how could I make everybody happy when I also have shortcomings.

It all began when somebody asks my help to edit a manuscript of a book sometimes in May, my friend and I had a little mis-understanding about the use of copywrited materials, and using name of people in a journal which is supposed to be published. Perhaps it is right what she accused me of, that I have never been changed. I am still the self-opinionated, feeling always right as I always am before. And she was right in a way. I am always righteous, and it is something that I can probably hard to change because I don't want to change. Avoiding trouble is for me better than taking chances and looking for the best possible solutions to the consequences afterwards.

So I lost a friend, because I am a self-opinionated, feeling always right. And if she ever did read about this. My message is: I have nothing to lose but, gain a respect for myself.

I also have another friend who late July this year receives a shock of her life when her daughter was diagnosed with mental disorder. It was also a hard clap. Something nobody would ever expected.

There were also a lot of things, one after another that had bother me so much like all the calamities in the past few months in our country. Specifically in our town in Laguna. Where the house of my brother was affected. It was not destroyed luckily, but all the materials and appliances in his house was destroyed.

And I constantly receives emails, letters and text from acquaintances who in one way or another needed my help. It was for me too much. Nevertheless I am thankful that I am good. I am okay, I have no mountains of problems and incurable sickness like others. But, it makes me psychologically and physically vulnerable nonethelss.